RatsJo Updates: A strange Signal...
Hello?
Hello?
Is any rat there?
Oh! Hello.
I think we have established a connection.
Hi. My name is Rats Jo, I have been stuck here in the Rat Dimension for two decades and I just decided to finally put myself out there and talk to other humans.
Up until now, all my friends have been rats, but, it gets kind of strange being a human living among rats. They just don’t get me, you know? Like, have you ever gotten stuck in a group of folks who you mostly get along with, but then the more time you spend with them, the more you realize that they just don’t understand who you are at a fundamental level? It’s like that. The differences, they start like little cracks you have to avoid, like how when I sneeze it would be really startling to them since they have very sensitive ears so I’d have to make an effort to stifle my sneezes, or they would just wear earplugs. But, eventually the difference become valleys, that then turn into streams, that then turn into big ole rivers. The rats get sick of putting in earplugs or dealing with my loudness, and conversely I’m sick of going over to them too, because they’ll just pee all over my sweater and hide noodles in my hair. Then, it’s like the rats are on one side, all squeaking and hopping around and having fun, while I’m over here on the human side, just hanging out alone with the river toads and minnows who don’t understand me all that much either.
"Up until now, all my friends have been rats, but, it gets kind of strange being a human living among rats." – Rats Jo, Ratrepreneur
So, I guess that’s why I made an effort to open the portal back up to the human world. I tried when I first got here, before I gave up and attempted to just try and make my life here among the rats. It’s been a while, but miraculously, everything appears to be as I left it. My old laptop is here, that strange circular hex on the wall hasn’t faded or been washed away by the humidity. Time runs differently here, I think. What year is it in the human world?
Anyway, after booting up my old computer, I managed to establish an internet connection which spans dimensions. Don’t ask me how, I don’t really understand how wordpress works either. What does one do in the rat dimension?
Well, I’ve been making a webcomic about some rats that go to outer space. It started as my college senior project, and kind of kept evolving. I have it all sketched out, but I’m a horrible perfectionist and spending all this time on my own in the rat dimension isn’t helping. So I’m only on chapter 4. You can read it here, and I promise I’ll send along updates of the unfinished stuff here just so you know it’s coming along. Rats don’t really like comics, you know- they’re very clinical. Atleast the ones I know have been. They might be more interested in the pages if they smelled interesting, could eat them, or could use them as nesting material.
What are my plans now that I’m leaving the rat dimension for good?
Well, okay that’s a big assumption. I wouldn’t say I’m leaving For Good. I think that would be a major loss of great potential as I am a young, up and coming ratrepreneur who’s not going to sacrifice a good business opportunity for peace and quiet. Capitalism is thriving in the rat dimension, and I’ve learned a few things from my rat mentors, even if we can’t always see eye to eye. What I’ve learned is that I possess a unique set of skills and expertise that I can bring you, the average rat-less human. Yes, that’s right, I can act as a translator between both worlds, bringing all the wonders of the Rat Dimension, and all at a wonderful price.
IF YOU NEED RATS, YOU NEED RATS JO.
That’s right! You can now enter the Rat Dimension via my portal here for all your rat needs. I guarantee you there is no need to go any where else.
- Ratsonas: I know how to draw the perfect rat version of YOU in the rat dimension. If you pay me, I can use my advanced rat dimension technology to create a simulated image of your ratAvatar being, should you choose to visit the rat dimension. I’m talking tails. I’m talking ears. I can even give you little glasses. Head over to my commissions page to see what I’m talking about.
- Rat Media: Comics coming soon! I’ll post some stuff on here. Comics and stuff!! YEAH. Comics… I also might be able to get the distribution rights to the Classy Rat Newsletter in the human world, if the Classy Corporation will accept my bid.
Anyway, I gotta go back to my bunk before curfew, I’ll catch ya’ll during the next moonrise.
- Rats Jo
